Counting Down

Uni Stuff, again. Because I am still freaked about starting term. I did finally found out what classes I'm teaching. Just two, because The System screwed up and waited too long to do what needed to be done. Now they are asking me how to resolve the problem of too few classes this term. On one hand, it's nice that they are not dictating to me, that they are seeking my input and preferences. On the other hand, it's a mess of their making. Which sounds and is petty of me.

So now it's me, trying to figure out how I can make up the classes cancelled. They've agreed to count the night class, usually compensated at adjunct rate, as one of my three. Methods is another. So I"m one class short this term.

My options are not enviable.
1: I can do an extra class in the spring term. That would be 5 classes, vs the four planned. They wouldn't all make, which would only compound the problem.
2: I can do the Southeast Asian gig next summer or over Xmas. Not a chance in hell. That would cost me money AND time AND body wear/tear.
3: I can teach a summer class next year. Which would completely screw up my current plans, and there's a very good chance that that class wouldn't make either.
4: I can teach for the adult degree completion program. Down sides: those are evening classes, 8 weeks, one night a week. When I've done those in the past, the short turn-around was hard. I really don't care to do hard for this place. Not anymore. Up side: the class will make, thus solving the problem. And I can probably create a class that the program would accept, so the material would be less than painful.

As you've no doubt noticed, I'm leaning towards #4. I see problems - I'm really good at anticipating problems, working out various scenarios. Particularly when I've been working around these kinds of issues for the past 12 years. The problems are that the department isn't going to be able to justify our 4th member after this year. Having too many faculty isn't a real issue, but having classes that don't make term after term is being read as 'too many faculty, not enough students.' This is a problem we - the department - created over the past few years. So next year, we'll be back to our 2 3/4 staff. The spiral into oblivion will continue. Not. My. Problem. Not anymore.

It's not easy, knowing that the program I've been in for 15 years won't long survive my retirement. If that long. It's hard watching something you've cared about die. A slow and preventable death.

Not. My. Problem.

School Stuff, Yet Again

Went into campus on Tuesday, and it totally freaked me out. No real reason, except that it was the first time I'd been there since they all but fired me. The dinosaurs are assuming some advising duties (amazing), New Hire (hereafter simply VAP) still thinks I'm chair. The Acting Chair/Assoc Dean is up to hir ass in work and hasn't make some easy decisions, much less executed what needs to be delegated. Nor does s/he know what I am teaching this term if my two under enrolled classes are canceled (as I suggested in May, so that we could come up with alternative scenarios; it's now very late and unlikely to work).

I have spent a couple of days trying to sift through the vast info on the internet on the recent literature for my Methods class topic. And related topics. Huge literature since the last time I really looked into this topic. Lots of reading to catch up on, and some really interesting new directions. And many hours how to move iWeb files from desktop Mac to MacBook Pro laptop. Which I am unable to figure out and unwilling to screw up. Logically, I should be able to copy/drag from x to y. However, if that doesn't work, I might have to recreate twenty-five web pages.  And I really don't want to do that. So I am stuck waiting until the IT people can get to me. Sigh. That may be weeks.

Did get the syllabus done. Not the schedule - yet. Generally, I do them backwards, but this one... this one is elusive. That's for the one class I know that starts in less than 2 weeks. The other for-certain class doesn't even start until mid-October. So I can wait on that one for a couple of days, right?

Rethinking my approach on all teaching. For seven years, I've focused on engaged, active learning. I changed everything, went with both gut and scholarly stuff on teaching & learning. You know, the evidence on learning? Every term, I've had successes and failures, but the last two years... it's been 90% failure. Time for 'failure analysis' is long overdue. Not that I have't worried & thought about it - but I've been very busy juggling chain saws and torches. Now I have some time. Hopefully, the energy. Meanwhile... not sure what to do. Do I return to the tried-but-trite (and ineffective) lecture method that students prefer? Passive reception of information presented, assessed by ability to regurgitate via exam/paper. Students actually like that, not knowing any better. But these students have witnessed my 'revised' methods during these past two failure-plagued years. So does that make them a better bet for the 'traditional' lecture method, or a good experimental group for a new approach? And what might that approach be???

Very glad the chain saws and flaming torches are somebody else's problems now.  All I need is some advice, recommendations and luck. Got any?

Wrestling through Denial

Went to the lawyer. L did all the talking, and kept me on task. Lawyer is going to draft a firewall letter that will, ideally, make the PTB go away and leave me alone. I'm not going to be acting chair or any kind of chair, serve on committees except as necessary, do any advising (my colleagues have never advised students) or mentoring - I'll just go in, do my teaching and office hours, go to the required events and meetings, and do nothing else. I'm going to try and become the new passive presence in the department, concentrating on teaching and my own research.

Which means that I need to work on my application for sabbatical next fall. I can quite happily go back into my archives and research. I can try to get some writing done that isn't assessment reports, program reviews, curriculum revisions etc..

That's a big challenge for me; letting go of things I've worried about for years. But it's the right thing for me. I need to take care of myself and quit putting myself out there for people to kick.

But ... it's hard. Any suggestions?

Ah, The Heat of Summer

It's really hot here already. 10:48, and already 83. Doesn't sound too bad, eh? Wrong. It's hot and humid enough to produce a hard sweat within minutes. In fact, I'm sitting here in my A/C house, and just out of a cool shower, and already, just typing? I'm sweating. Part of this is hormonal - hot flashes is such a misnomer. Flash hell. Surges? Too short. Hot seasons. I remember going a couple of years without ever feeling cold: it was either too hot, or just warm. But this? This weather is both hot and hormonal hot. Doesn't help that the past 6 weeks have been spent in equatorial winter.

But it is indeed good to be home. Sleeping is still problematic, haunted by weird dreams and stress-y images flitting amongst those dreams.

L is here through this next week, and we are having lots of fun. Not doing much - eating foods she can't get in France, shopping for clothes she can't get in France - we still haven't managed a real grocery run.

Today I have an appointment with Apple Genius Bar types to explain why my Apple TV - which I adore - won't sync with the new remote. I've gone through all the websites on un-pairing the lost remote and can't get anywhere. So the hell with it - we're gonna have to hit the mall. Ick. We may reward ourselves with a trip to the pool. Back about the first of June, my big screen TV quit working, and I discovered that the infra-red sensor had died. 3 year old TV and something fundamental to the TV dies. Not good. Then I find, to my horror, that fixing it requires major steps AND a much-reviled warranty service provider. So I hooked up TV#2, and figured I'd do something when I got back. So now I'm back, and I want my big TV back so I can watch in peace. And the Apple TV won't work with the Apple TV. So I haul out the big one, and hook it up, and nope, that won't work either.  So now I have two TVs in the living room - one that works okay with cable, but I can't get to amazon OR Netflix on anything but my laptops. And that just sucks, as what one does during the heat of summer is watch Netflix/Amazon videos. I'm just really pissed, and ready to toss the 3 year old big screen and get a new one rather than go through the hassle of dealing with much-reviled warranty service types. FWIW: Avoid VIZIO products as long as they have this warranty-service company. However, I have just discovered that Sears does repair Vizio, so maybe I can save a few bucks and not have to buy a new one. Wouldn't that be nice.

I'm coming to terms with the mess of the Investigation, Findings and Admonishment. L says I need to get to a lawyer and get a letter and witness statements so that I can cover self for future. I know she's right? But a big part of me wants to just not do anything and hide. I want to get to a place where I don't have to think about this stuff, not have it haunt me. So I have to do that this next week, because she's volunteered to go with me & offer support/advice. God, where would I be without friends???

You know how fun it is when you introduce friends from different parts of your life and they hit it off? I'm having those moments with L, and it's such fun! One set is busily incorporating her into future travel plans; others are planning trips to see her (at her invitation) in France. Much fun.

Hope you are in a cool place and having fun. After all, summers are about resting. Relaxing. Recharging. Recovering. Right?